The Week’s Worst Climate Stories (Let’s Get Smart About Climate)

by | May 17, 2024 | Environmentalism

Agent 86’s misadventures in Get Smart seem like a good analogy for this week’s worst climate stories. Boy, do we have a lot of them.

The environmental KAOS agents must have discussed new, top-secret aspects of The Official Climate Narrative using the Cone of Silence.

In the classic TV show Get Smart, the lead spy Maxwell Smart (Agent 86) often found himself bumbling through his top secret assignments for the good guy spy agency, CONTROL. His effort to thwart the evil KAOS landed him in hot water, forcing him to use ingenious gadgets to get out of it and save the day. Smart often frustrated his boss, the Chief, but his trusty partner, the sexy Agent 99, always had his back.

(Don’t Miss Last Week’s Column: You Don’t Need a Weather Man to Know Which Way the Wind Blows . . .)

This week, we have a multi-billion dollar investment in charging stations that missed expectations by . . .  that much. We also have the honor of introducing the term “squirrel chew” to our loyal readers, with an environmentally friendly connection. Meanwhile, in a classic KAOS caper, scientists have begun work on a vaccine to stop cow farts. One climate scientist wishes for humanity to get hit with another pandemic, in order to cull the population to save Mother Earth. Changing over the entire fleet of long-haul trucking to EVs will cost WAY more than predicted. And Lake Tahoe refused to toe the climate change line by declining to stay empty, disproving the man-made climate drought predictions.

We have some good news, as one red state governor has wiped all climate nonsense laws off the books, fake scientific journals have gone bankrupt, and 1,600 rational climate scientists have signed on to a declaration that man-made global warming doesn’t exist.

Let’s go.

Biden’s EV Infrastructure Investment for the Climate Flops

In 2021, the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, championed by the Biden administration, set aside $7.5 billion for EV charging stations. In an attempt to cure “range anxiety” caused by a severe lack of chargers, they set out to build thousands of stations across America. This would allow EVs to compete with gas-powered vehicles by closing the gap in the number of “refueling” stations. So, how many charging stations have they built?

Would you believe . . . seven?

That’s seven charging stations, with a total of 38 parking spots, for the low, low price of $7.5 billion. In other words, a typically efficient government investment.

Who Knew Making Car Parts Out of Food Would Make Animals Want to Eat Them?

The Daily Telegraph in the UK reported this week that eco-friendly vehicle components have faced an unexpected foe. Squirrel chew is a known and fairly common issue in the telecom and electrical industries. Some unsuspecting rodent will think a random cable seems like a tasty snack, and create havoc for the network when it gives it a taste-test. Not many folks expected to see that happen in cars, though. The greenies have an innovative way to make it a reality. Apparently, petroleum-based insulation for brake cables, electrical lines, and other vehicle components is too unfriendly to the earth. Manufacturers decided to give Mother Earth a hug by making that insulation out of soy, instead. Apparently foxes in England find this stuff irresistible, causing expensive damages.

Sorry about that, Chief.

First Cow Farts, Then the World!

Mad scientists often came up with diabolical schemes in Get Smart, with hilarious results. In a case of life imitating art, this headline rolled by: Startup raises $26.5 million for vaccine to stop cow farts and burps. Because they just can’t stop obsessing about cattle and its various expulsions. One wonders how Agent 86 would solve this mystery . . .

KAOS Agent Hatches Another Master Plan to Save the World

Not to be outdone, another scientist took to X/Twitter to lament the size of the human population, saying only another pandemic can save the world. He deleted his post, after a flurry of well-deserved mockery:

If I am brutally honest, the only realistic way I see emissions falling as fast as they need to, to avoid catastrophic #climate breakdown, is the culling of the human population by a pandemic with a very high fatality rate.

— Bill McGuire (@ProfBillMcGuire) May 11, 2024

One of many, many comments in reply to this guy:

Switching to Electric Trucking Will Cost How Much?

Would you believe . . . a lot? Try 114 percent higher annual operational costs:

Florida-based Ryder analyzed the potential cost of transportation if internal combustion engine trucks are converted to EVs. There is a 5 percent cost increase for light-duty EVs and a 94–114 percent increase for heavy-duty trucks, the May 8 report states. For a fleet of 25 mixed vehicles—light-, medium-, and heavy-duty trucks—costs surge by 56–67 percent.

The Biden administration will force the long-haul trucking industry to electrify anyway.

Lake Tahoe Hasn’t Gotten The Memo

California is supposed to be in a drought, with many climate “scientists” predicting the lakes in that region will never totally refill again, due to man-made global warming.

So much for that proposition:

Lake Tahoe is set to fill up for the first time in five years, according to a report by officials.

The study from the Natural Resources Conservation Service predicts the snowmelt coming down from the Californian mountains this spring will be sufficient to fill the lake, which has not been full since 2019.

“The dam at Lake Tahoe’s outlet provides up to six feet of storage totaling 744,500 acre-feet. Once full the stored water in Lake Tahoe typically provides sufficient supply to meet demand for three years even if snowpacks are below normal,” the report said.

Finally, some good news . . .

DeSantis Eliminates Remaining Green Policies in Florida

America’s Governor, Ron DeSantis (R-FL) has defeated the forces of KAOS by signing a bill eliminating the remaining green policies in Florida law, passed under the reign of the odious Charlie Crist:

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) declared on X Wednesday that a bill he signed that removes climate change as a priority in state energy policy would restore “sanity” and reject “the agenda of the radical green zealots.”

Why it matters: The bill . . . would also ban offshore wind turbines and bolster natural gas expansion after taking effect on July.

Scientific Paper Mills Shut Down

Science has been beset with a flood of faked data and bogus studies in scholarly journals—that’s why sites like Retraction Watch exist. One segment of that galaxy is populated by paper mills. Some journals out there carry the imprimatur of scholarly peer review and scientific rigor, but in practice allow authors to publish large numbers of shoddy studies with poor data integrity. The Wall Street Journal reported this week that nineteen of these paper mills have shut down simultaneously, following the discovery of “nearly 900 fraudulent papers in 2022.” One small step towards restoring integrity to peer-review, which has morphed into pal-review over the years.

CONTROL Scientists Oppose KAOS

Score one for the good guys: NO Climate Crisis’ Says Coalition of 1,600 Actual Scientists. A letter to the California Air Resources Board (CARB), organized by the CO2 Coalition and signed by 1,609 scientists and professionals from around the world, included Nobel laureates John Clauser and Ivan Giaever. The letter concludes:

To believe the outcome of a climate model is to believe what the model makers have put in. This is precisely the problem of today’s climate discussion to which climate models are central. Climate science has degenerated into a discussion based on beliefs, not on sound self-critical science. Should not we free ourselves from the naive belief in immature climate models?

Read more Restoration News coverage of radical environmentalism here.

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